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Coping During The Holidays

Stress and depression can creep into your holiday activities. Here are some ideas to help you navigate the holidays and your emotions.
coping during the holidays
We are in the home stretch of the holiday season with just a few days left until Christmas. However, the anticipation can be both exciting and often stressful with the shopping, decorating, holiday parties, school activities, and family gatherings. 
 
Christmas is my favorite holiday by far and I look forward to it every year. I find that depending on the year, and what’s going on in my life, some years are less stressful than others.
 
I have also noticed that as I’ve gotten older, my daughter is now grown, and many close family members are no longer with me, I get the blues as the holiday approaches. I’m sure many of you can relate to this.
 
Each year I reflect on the special memories of the holidays growing up with my parents and brothers. The decorating always began the day after Thanksgiving with Christmas cookie baking happening throughout December.
 
As we got older, the cookie baking got closer and closer to Christmas because we would inevitably eat all of the cookies despite my Mom trying to stash them in a secret location, requiring her to bake multiple batches.
 
We typically went to Mass on Christmas Eve, and as our family grew including sisters-in-law, nieces, and nephews, we always had a big dinner at our house following Mass.
 
These gatherings were some of my favorite memories of watching my Mom and Dad with their grandchildren.
We lived very close to my grandparents in a rural area so Christmas day was always fun to gather at my grandparent’s home for a big Christmas dinner.
 
My grandfather Doc was always seated at the head of the table telling stories like only he could. My Mom and grandmother would create a feast, which we ate using my grandmother’s “special” china, crystal, and silverware. After dinner and dessert, we would all gather in the family room for more conversation, stories, and laughter. Yes, that’s right, we actually sat and talked… for hours.
 
I didn’t fully appreciate these traditions back then. As a kid, I was always a little irritated that we had to leave our toys on Christmas day to go to my grandparents or attend Christmas Eve Mass every year.
 
Now looking back, those memories are bittersweet with so many of our family members now gone.
 
If you find yourself feeling a little blue, let yourself acknowledge and feel the emotion. Just don’t stay in a sad place.
 
I think it’s really important for all of us to take time during the holidays to remember and honor those who are no longer with us. While I’m really sad my parents are not here to share the holidays, I try to focus with gratitude on the great memories I have with them. The traditions they created were a gift not to be fully appreciated until many years later.
 
For some, the anticipation of family gatherings can cause anxiety or sadness. Maybe you are stressed for fear of certain conversations or family members not getting along.
 
This is also a really important time to acknowledge what you are feeling. Think about how this is causing you stress and identify a couple of things you can do to help you cope.
 
 

Coping skills during the holidays

Here are a few ideas to help cope with stress and sadness during the holidays.
 
    • Acknowledge your feelings – If you are feeling sad or stressed, let yourself feel the emotion and then move forward.

 

    • Be Realistic – Don’t set unrealistic expectations for the holidays. The holiday does not need to be perfect or exactly the same as last year. Be flexible and if something doesn’t go as planned it’s ok.

 

    • Set aside differences – Family dinner is not the place to have a heated discussion. Tell yourself that you accept all family as they are and respect their views and ideas even though they may differ from yours. Be understanding if someone gets upset. They likely are feeling the same stress you are.

 

    • Stick to your healthy habits – Don’t throw all caution to the wind during holiday festivities. It’s ok to eat and take part in the fun, as long as you balance that with exercise. If you have a meditation routine, stick to it! It will help you cope during the holiday rush.

 

    • Take a breather – If you find yourself getting anxious, take a few moments to yourself to process and bring yourself back to a calm place. Take a walk or just sit and read a good book.
 
Remember, we all celebrate the holidays differently. Don’t fall into the trap of thinking yours must look the same as someone else’s.
 
Make the most of each day and appreciate where you are at this moment of your life. I wish each of you the happiest of holidays, good health, and joy!!!
 
~Nicole
 
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