Contributor: Mary Ann Warrington
“I was Scared”.
Graduating from high school, living life in the fast lane with no worries, and not a care in the world was how life was when I was 19 years old. Isn’t that the way it is supposed to be when you are approaching your 20s and have everything in front of you? I had not faced moments where I was given news that I was not prepared for …but then one day, out of the blue I got a call that made me a different person.
Most of my childhood was spent with a best friend named Beth – a beautiful girl with long brown hair and the sweetest smile. We had sleepovers constantly, rode bikes from one end of town to the other, created and played games, and just hung out. We were inseparable until we hit high school. We didn’t have the same friends anymore and we barely saw each other – but we were still best friends in our minds. Fast forward to 1982 when I got a phone call that Beth was in the hospital and had leukemia.
I was SCARED to go see her and I tried to avoid the whole subject of Beth and cancer. I think in my mind if I didn’t go see her then it would not be true. I struggled with it so much and put off a visit for so long. Instead of being “present in her life” I withdrew. After my one visit and many treatments, Beth came home and started living life again. She was in my wedding, and I was in her wedding, and all the other things that lifelong friends are supposed to do.
At age 34, she developed a different strain of leukemia, and she called me as soon as she found out. She was limited with treatment because of her prior bout and had a huge fight ahead of her. On my last visit with her, she told me she wanted to die with dignity – I shared those wishes with her father and Beth passed away the following week. I found the courage and was no longer scared to be “present”, and I knew that her father needed to know her wishes.
In my older years, I reflect on 1982, how I reacted, and what I did and did not do. I was truly scared and did not want to see Beth – I didn’t know what to do, how to act, or how to help. I have learned so much in these 40 years. She taught me many things in life, and she probably made me a better person because she helped me to stop being scared and to be “present”. Embrace your friendships and be there for each other – whether miles apart or living a block away. Find the courage to be a friend and make a difference. Beth is the one friend who reminds me of my youth by just a simple song on the radio, a glance in the yearbook, or just a ride through town on my bike – she made a difference in my life!
“True friendship is when two friends can walk in opposite directions, yet remain side by side” Josh Grayson
Nicole Irish